An Average Day

Today when Matt got home from being on the road since Monday afternoon, he asked me, "How was your day?"

My answer: Average.

There wasn't anything that made it super amazing, but there wasn't anything bad about it either. It was just one of those days that fill in the gaps of our typically crazy and busy calendar of events.

Hayden and I were out late last night watching the KC Royals as they beat the Houston Astros in Game 5 of the ALDS finals.  So when he woke up crying and knocking on his door this morning at 4:30am, and it being the third night of being just us at home, sleeping rules were broken and he joined me in Mommy & Daddy's bed...[he had to see the buses, which has become kind of a morning ritual the past week or so].  Naturally they are most comfortable with their feet touching you in some way, shape or form, but we both managed to sleep good still, and I had the joy of waking first and being able to just look over and see his cute little face and hear his little breaths. The lyric, "Let them be little" has popped into my head more than a couple times in different situations throughout the past few weeks.

My Boy
Getting so big, but still so small.

Someone found the picture-taking button on mom's phone!
We'll get out of bed and start our day, but first...A SELFIE!

My morning was a little off from routine, partially because I haven't been having my usual breakfast this week (just switching things up, adding some variety) and once I finished my workout, I wasn't sure what I wanted for breakfast. However, I DID know that I wanted to try a new recipe for a Queso Chicken Soup with Roasted Corn & Jalapenos, so I went ahead and got that started so it would be ready around 4:30-5:00. This is the third crockpot meal I've made this week, and I am loving it. I am able to basically be done in the kitchen for the day by 9:00-10:00 once breakfast is cooked, cleaned up, and then all the ingredients are prepped and put in the crockpot. It makes for a much smoother afternoon/evening...and makes the house smell amazing all day long, which when you're home all day, that can be good and bad!

I played a couple word games (I am currently super addicted to the Word Streak Live Tournaments)...go ahead and think the stay-at-home mom stereotypes thoughts you're having. I'll admit to it, and there's a lot of times I know I should be doing something more productive. But there's also days I have absolutely zero time to even think about playing my games because I'm so swamped, so I enjoy them when I have time to.

Apparently whatever else I was doing a little later in the day wasn't too exciting for Hayden (or me...it was dishes), and he must've still been worn out from the long evening watching baseball, because I walked into the living room to see that he wasn't watching Mighty Machines anymore. :P  I can probably count on one hand the number of times he's fallen asleep on his own (other than in the carseat)...so naturally I had to grab the camera and get a pic!

He woke up 5-10 minutes before Matt pulled in the driveway, which was pretty perfect timing!  It wasn't long before they were headed out to the shop together, and then not much longer after that before they were back inside with the KITTY they found!

I don't think Kitty was as nearly excited about the new friendship.

I had been inside roasting the corn and peppers to finish off the soup.  Which by the way tasted FANTASTIC!  This is a prime example of a meal I try to emphasize that although CLEAN, it's probably not highly recommended for those who are truly looking to lose weight with it's high sodium content from the cheese, and really just not a whole lot for veggies...way less than what I've gotten used to at supper anyway. We kept our portion sizes in check, and followed it up with a 7 mile bike ride, though, so I think we'll be fine!!

Queso Chicken Soup with Roasted Corn & Jalapenos

What do you do with new friends?
Invite them to eat with you, of course!

And, of course, he's allergic to his new friend.

After bath, stories, prayer and "mommy, NAP!" time with Hayden about 7:30-8:00, Matt and I pulled the two couches together in the living, picked out a movie on Netflix, and just enjoyed being together for the first time all week (boom-chicka-bow-wow).

That's it. An average day. These are the days I want to remember to remember!

Weekend Warriors

"Quick" and "blog post" are three words that don't normally go together in the same sentence for me (unless followed by the words, "yeah right" or "I wish"). But I'm going to keep trying.

Summer is winding down, but since we don't have a kid in school yet, it doesn't really mean that our lives will slow down, it just means our hobbies and where we're going will be changing. It's hard to believe we only have a handful of lake weekends left. I have to admit, I'm 110% more on board with going to the lake every weekend opposed to the past several summers spent sweating and collecting dust at the dirt track races (although I miss all of our friends in that circle). But I must also admit I might be a little burned out on lake season, too. Or maybe not even as much that, as just feeling like, despite being a stay-at-home wife/mom, I never feel like I have time to fully recover between trips. But you know what...Matt works his butt off during the week, and the lake is his reward...and because he works his butt off making it possible for me to stay home and raise Hayden, being ready to go again each weekend feels like the least I can do for us. I'm hardly complaining! :D

With all that said, we had another full weekend which started with a simulator event in Delphos on Saturday. I believe we've set-up at this event every year since owning the simulators, and every year I am in awe at the fantastic event this little community puts on for residents of ALL ages. This year I was also pleasantly surprised with how well Hayden handled attending the event all day with us. It definitely helped to have Trenton with us (as always!) to help with the simulators, but we also got him a wristband and allowed him to take part in the other entertainment/activities they had available for the kids, such as the rock wall, the trampoline, and whether he actually would've on his own or not, a train ride with Hayden.  It was hot and humid with no breeze, and I was extremely ready to just be in the air conditioning doing nothing after hour 4 or 5, but Matt was ready to be in the lake (or at least at the lake), so once the simulators were loaded, we headed home to drop them off, took a couple showers, had a bite to eat, and all of us loaded back up in the motorhome (this has become a very rare scenario for us anymore these days) and headed to Wilson Lake to find our "BOOOOOOAAATTT" (as Hayden says)!

By the time we got to the lake, a pretty severe storm had already passed, making for some very good stories from our friends who endured it out "on the lake" as it came up while they were beached on the shoreline. Needless to say, it was late enough in the evening and they were pretty wore out, so we just hung out at camp and had some drinks.

 
(Yes, here it comes, the "Beachbody Coach" schpeel...).

I decided to have a couple drinks Saturday night, and for the first time in a very long time, I just enjoyed them without making myself feel completely and totally guilty about it. Along with the drinks came chips and some AMAZING corn dip. Which I also just enjoyed. Amazingly enough, I really didn't even have much morning after regret, and we kicked off the morning with a nice brisk family walk around camp, and shortly after that, I put on my swimsuit....still no regrets...just happy to be at the lake, coming off a relaxing evening after a long day in the sun...ready to hang out and enjoy good company with good friends, and watch the boys play/dig on the shore.

On a personal note...this was a pretty big weekend for me to be able to allow myself some guilt-free drinks and snacking, and not feel regret in the morning. I know I'm hard on myself, because I've seen what I AM capable of achieving, and I love the results of a "squeaky clean" diet and daily exercise. But I also believe reducing the amount of stress I put on myself and a "clean" diet COULD be beneficial for me in the right balance. I recently read an article by a nutritionist who allowed her clientele 100 discretionary calories a day to keep them from feeling too restricted. This is probably something I should more seriously incorporate into my plan.

From a coach standpoint...I feel it's important to not be "hypocritcal," which is where I feel a lot of my self-induced stress and "need for perfection" comes from.  I also don't want to give the wrong impression on what is required to achieve results.

Every fitness journey is unique.
Every body is unique.
Every mind is unique.

When you decide to commit to a healthy lifestyle, there are basic principles that can't be ignored. And anytime you make changes, old habits have to be broken, which will always require a healthy dose of self-control and determination.

I'm just trying to work through breaking a lot of old habits and conquering a lot of excuses like "letting life happen" because I've been blessed with an incredibly adventurous, fun-filled life that is most definitely happening and requires proper planning to keep me in check with my goals and my ability to keep up with all our crazy adventures!  And if through being real, coming alongside others, sharing my [imperfect] journey and the tools that work for me, I can have an impact on another life, FANTASTIC!

Next weekend is Tuttle Creek, then Hayden's {2nd} birthday week/weekend (most likely at the lake), the weekend after is my cousin's wedding, the two weekends following will be IMCA Super Nationals in Boone, then Matt's sister's wedding as well as a friend's wedding the next weekend...aaaaaaannnnnnddddd....a weekend off (as of now, of course)!

I get tired just thinking about it!

Confidence & Priorities

It is definitely time for me to put some of my thoughts down in writing because I have internalized them about as long as even I, an introvert, can mentally handle.

We enjoyed our first trip to the lake with our (and two of our friends) new pontoon this past weekend, which also marked my first official bikini trip since starting my “beach body” journey last year. I used to have a bikini body, but never realized it or appreciated it or had the confidence to embrace it. And then I skipped right to an I-don’t-even-want-to-put-a-swimsuit-on-of-any-kind body. Which considering I really never was a pool/lake type of person, this wasn’t something I had to worry too often.

But the self-confidence thing...I’m not sure where my lack of that comes from, but it’s not a new struggle. I just know I’m ready to deal with it now, and that I’m making big gains. Age is just a number, but as I near a milestone birthday in less than 2 weeks, I can’t help but notice a shift in my mentality, and developing an awareness to wanting to make MY agenda/life my #1 priority. Which not everyone is going to be able to relate to or understand the changes/sacrifices I make, nor would I—should I—expect them to, after all, it is MY life, not any one else’s. (Being able to grasp this is one of my many improvements already. The last time I was questioned about my "life choices" I allowed that person's perception of me to alter and doubt the new habits I had been forming that were working for me and slip backwards...but not this time.)

So what are my priorities...

• Being a supportive and helpful wife

• Raising a little boy in a way that will help him thrive and survive on his own one day, and enjoying all the stages along the way {mom}

• Living a life that takes care of my body

• Being a loyal friend

• Sharing my passion for fitness (and nutrition) with others {beachbody coach}

• Living a life pleasing to God and according to His word

[Are these in order despite a bulleted list rather than a numbered list you're wondering to yourself...? Truthfully, I would say yes. Would shuffling the bottom item of the list to the top of the list transform my life in even more positive ways than I could even fathom? ABSOLUTELY! But that's another topic I don't have the mental capacity to take on at the moment.)

As I mentioned, I’m making big gains in my self-confidence, as putting on my bikini and taking off my cover-up didn’t give me a panic attack this weekend. However, I asked a question of a friend that, if I were asked by someone, would cause me to question their self-confidence and need for reassurance. I wish I could take the question back so I wouldn’t be sitting here dwelling on why I asked it, but the truth of it is, I asked it, there was a reason I asked it, and even though dwelling on it isn’t healthy, dealing with it is necessary if I’m going to continue to grow and make progress toward genuine confidence (especially physically). I want to be there so bad…and I will be…and I’m much closer…but I’m just not quite there yet.

And as I continue to dwell on the question I asked of my friend, it was wrong on more levels than just my lack of confidence. I have no idea what I expected—or wanted—her response to be, but it just was poorly worded, poor timing, and poor judgement—which are things I’m unfortunately good at.

Isn’t self-awareness just awesome!?!?!

That’s mostly rhetorical, but I know my biggest improvements [generally] follow my most unnerving “failures.”