A "public" apology

I can't even focus on anything else right now, I need to get this off my heart, my mind and my chest.

I need to apologize to some of you–no–all of you.

When I signed up to be a Beachbody coach, my "why" was to keep Matt and I motivated. And then the more I looked into the opportunity and started looking at the potential of building a business, I got really excited about "helping others." And I put that in quotes because with a day full of clarity, what I was doing was anything BUT helping others.

I want to help you, but truth of it is, I got the cart before the horse. I got wrapped up in building a business of helping others, rather than building a business BY helping others!

Sure I've had some early success as a coach because I've had the right tools to help people help themselves.

But the ugly truth – I don't even want to type this – is that if you weren't going to help me move my business forward, I wasn't going to help you. (Typing that literally makes me tear up, makes me sick to my stomach!! I want to delete it...I did actually delete it once...I cannot believe I'm having to admit that! Worse yet, is knowing some of you realized this before I did!)

IT'S TIME TO CHANGE THIS!!

I have set up a group on Facebook that is going to be open to ANYONE. It'll be a place for us to motivate, encourage, and share tips with each other whenever we feel led. I PROMISE I will be there to help you, NO PURCHASE NECESSARY, NO STRINGS ATTACHED!!!

AND MOST IMPORTANTLY...to those of you who have already reached out to me wanting help, please forgive me and give me another shot at this. You were ready, but I wasn't....I am now!! Let's do this together!!

In love and health,
Kayla

Going Forward

I can't thank you guys enough for the comments you've left on my previous post! I realize I don't blog much, but I was excited to see the post [Transformation Tuesday: 2 Months] is now my second, and only a few views shy of being my #1, most viewed post. :)

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IF YOU HAVEN'T READ THAT POST, YOU SHOULD BEFORE CONTINUING!

Click here to read

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"Keep tabs on here and my Facebook page for updates on how I plan to continue this new lifestyle!"

Heck yeah! I'm going to make it possible for you to join me and help keep me accountable (just like Leanne made it possible for me!) starting NEXT MONTH already!

I am committing to this new lifestyle. I've started my second challenge group (as a challenger) just this week, and I am still connected with all of the great ladies who were in my first challenge group via a "graduates" group on Facebook. I know in my last post I put below my photo: [Nutrition+Exercise=Results]. But the real equation that has made the difference for me (and thousands of other Beachbody members) is:

Fitness Program + Nutrition Plan + Accountability = SUCCESS

I'm not sure if you guys can really fully understand my excitement for this via this blog, or Facebook, or maybe even in person, because my introverted tendencies keep me kind of "reserved" in social settings. But I have become SUPER passionate about not only mine and my immediate family's health, but just helping ANYONE needing that extra nudge, or little encouragement, or maybe it's a big push into a healthier and happier lifestyle, however I can do that!

So if that's you, let's talk!

Kayla Kvacik, Independent Team Beachbody Coach
(Don't let the coach part fool you, I'm still just the same Kayla you've always known, just maybe with a little more passion to help you succeed with my new found confidence gained from my Beachbody journey!)

Transformation Tuesday: 2 Months

When I started this blog, I was pregnant.

If you've read the About Me page on my blog, you know one of the subjects this blog covers is:
"• Health & Fitness (if that exists post-pregnancy)."

If you continued reading my blogs you read things like...

"I've been excited about getting back in to shape again since about the second month of pregnancy. We've been going on several family walks, which have been great, and it feels great to be out moving around. I really enjoy taking Hayden with and being able to watch him as I walk. It sure makes the time seem to go by much quicker.
So the other night while I was over at the track, my legs, my brain and my heart said, "let's try running." Yeah......my boobs said, "there's no bra that will support these milk jugs, try again in six months." Kind of a sad moment, and I'd like to think I won't have to wait six months, but I'm afraid the boobs don't lie. Wish me luck, I guess; and until then, we'll keep walking." -From The First Month

"3) Easy calories. Let's be serious, producing milk is an "easy" workout (20-30 calories per ounce of milk, you can do the math). My plan is to get back to doing my at-home DVD workouts once I quit pumping. I'm going to have to do some kind of workout and start watching what I eat again. BOOO!!! -From To Wean or Not to Wean

You can read Spring Splendor, Booby Blunders for a long list of thoughts on running, momemtum, clothes shopping, and more. It most certainly needs(ed) it's own post!

So back on April 18, 2014, was when I first "declared" I was going to get back in to shape.

Now when I said it then, I was referring to the state of health I was in and familiar with prior to getting pregnant. Which, wasn't too bad, I could do some form of fairly vigorous exercise if I wanted to, could go out and play a game of softball without too much worry of how my body would respond the next day, and never felt terribly overweight, bigger than I was in high school, and bigger than I would've liked to be, but that was just the "cycle of life" setting in (so I told myself).

Before I continue, I want to jump back a few years: Two summers ago (June 2012), Matt and I spent our 5-year wedding anniversary in Colorado Springs, CO. While we were out there, we hired a photographer to take our pictures to capture the milestone and memories of our trip. This is how Leanne (the photographer) enters my life story.

Not quite a month after my final pump, I reached out to Leanne again on May 21, 2014.

But not for her photography skills this time. I had been watching her, and her husband's, transformations via Facebook. They were absolutely amazing! And the best part...they were inviting all of their friends to join them so they could help them get similar results. After 6-7 months of following their journey, the timing was right, and my mindset was right, to commit to their next Challenge group (you can read a little more about that in my post, Friday the 13th. Pah!)

Wowzers, right?!?! Who doesn't want results like that?
I mean, that might be a little more than I'm capable of, but why not try!
GREAT JOB, LEANNE!
Thanks for being a huge part of my motivation!

"We base our groups 70% on nutrition & 30% on exercise."

Okay, maybe I don't want to join your group...

But I knew I wanted to be a part of this challenge group, and I knew the group really had the possibility to get me where I wanted to be based off of Leanne's results, so if nutrition was what it was going to take, I was going to do it.

And I’ve always known my poor nutrition has been holding me back from getting the results I wanted, and even worked hard for with little to no gain, making me discouraged and ultimately causing me to give up or tell myself my goals were unrealistic. Sure, I would count calories and watch what I was eating when I decided it was time to "get fit," but I had never made the commitment to actually make a permanent lifestyle change. Nor did I take the time to really understand proper nutrition. Yes, weight loss occurs when you take in less calories than you burn, but where you get the calories from...that's what I have been missing, and that's what Leanne (and Corey, and the accountability group) are teaching me.

 

This has completely transformed my life – and my body.

[Nutrition+Exercise=Results]

In just the past two months, I've gotten better results than I ever actually imagined in my head were possible. I am literally in the best overall shape I've ever been my entire life, and I've just gotten started.

Keep tabs on here and my Facebook page for updates on how I plan to continue this new lifestyle! Because believe me, the rewards of feeling healthy and strong are worth the effort and changes!

Thanks for stopping by!

Friday the 13th. Pah!

Just wanted to drop a quick note about my new journey. Last Monday I started a Team Beachbody Challenge. I stuck to eating healthy 100% all week, and continued my morning runs, as well as adding in Beachbody's TurboFire workout. Today was "reward" day:

Today was weigh in day for my challenge group. You get 2 points if you lose 1% or more of your body weight, 1 point for any loss under 1%, or no points if you don't lose.

I've told myself not to weigh except for on weigh in day. If I really focus on eating healthy and getting my workouts in, and give it all I have, then it doesn't matter what the scale says. It made my day this morning when I stepped on the scale and was down..............7.2 lbs!!!.............since last Friday.

To join the challenge group, I had to buy a "Challenge Pack" which included a workout and Shakeology. I am loving my Shakeology (which from the little I know, is quite similar to Advocare's Spark)...it would take you like 3 days to eat the amount of vegetables that are in it, right?!?!?! It's a protein drink that actually tastes good (you gotta find the right recipe/blend) and I've had plenty of energy all week, so I'm all for it. :)

Wednesday's Challenge was to do a 10 second wall sit after every bathroom break. It was a reminder to be drinking our water, and building our leg muscles! To get the point for the day we had to take a picture of ourselves doing a wall sit.

And last but not least, I've ran (and a few walks in the beginning)....50 TIMES....since March 18. Whoop Whoop! Wasn't it sweet of MapMyFitness to email me a congrats on this accomplishment?!?!

Any and all encouragement and motivation during my challenge (and beyond) is much appreciated! The challenge runs from June 9 to July 9.

Thanks for stopping by!

Sleep Training

Bragging has bit me in the a** again! My son who started out as a great sleeper, putting himself to bed, now screams for HOURS when put in his crib. There are certain actions that can be taken to be nearly sure bets for getting him to calm down and fall asleep, but they're all on his terms, and in my mind there are certain things that Matt and I get to be in charge of, and sleeping is one of them. And as I said, he WAS a very good sleeper, so I know he's capable of it!

(This is our story, and I am in no way trying to step on any toes or place judgement on how other households handle similar situations. This is something I didn't learn until I was actually a parent. Once I hit parenthood, I understood you do whatever you have to do to make it through the day with your ever-changing baby/child.)

So it was time to take back control, but how?

Upon searching the internet for answers, I ran across a page which suggested The Sleep Sense Program. I went to their website, read through the sales pitch, and thought it sounded legit enough to try. In just two minutes and a minor bank withdrawal, I was all signed up for transforming my sons sleep schedule, hopefully for the long haul.

How we got to this point (IMO): Willing to do anything to get Squeak to sleep without worrying about long-term effects.
 
1. When he wasn't feeling good, I cuddled the crap out of him. What mom wouldn't?!?! And what parent doesn't like watching their baby drift off in to dreamland while lying peacefully in their arms. I just fear it won't be quite as cute after doing so everyday for the next 4 years.

2. I wasn't ready to get up when he woke up, so I would bring him to our bed and let him crawl around until he was ready to take another nap, and then enjoy the snuggle time! Again, nothing like a snuggle bug in bed with ya, but over time he decided that's what he preferred, and each night it seemed to get earlier and earlier that he wound up in our bed.

"Short-term work for a lifetime of great sleeping skills"

"Two weeks of work to get 10 years of great sleep for a child is really just a blink of an eye"

Now, if I would have finished this on Day 2 of Sleep Training when I started it, I would say, "easier said than done lady" about the above quotes from Dana Obleman, founder of The Sleep Sense Program.

90% of babies have a harder time with naps than they do through the night

This is certainly a relief to know, since naps was/is by far our biggest struggle.

It has been a lot of work and has taken a LOT of patience (and volume on the TV) and we're still not done, but now that we're on Day 10 of the program I'm starting to feel pretty confident about Squeak's ability to put himself to sleep, and our schedule. It's actually been a bit of a "sleep training" for both of us, as the program suggests a bedtime between 6:30-7:30pm, as she suggested that most babies/children are going to wake up at the same time every morning regardless of what time they go to bed. We had been consistently putting Squeak to bed at 8:00pm (up until he started to refuse to go to bed and I felt like I was doing him a disservice allowing him to cry in his crib). I decided we would try a 7pm bedtime instead, which got me pretty excited about more "alone" time in the evening, but quickly realized it didn't gain us much, as Squeak didn't necessarily follow the rule, and just started waking up an hour earlier. However, this has been an alright schedule to get used to so I can get a run in before it gets too hot/windy. It's been quite the adjustment going from a 9am-Midnight routine to a 6:30am-10pm routine. I feel Squeak and I are both making pretty good progress though.

And as far as my running is going...I'm really beginning to love it! I always wondered what would possess people to run "for fun." Now I'm one of those people. And I'm honestly not sure I could tell you what "possesses" me to do it.

I'm not sure I'm trying to accomplish any kind of dream, but everyday when I'm out running and thinking of all the other things I could be doing, I realize the run is probably more productive than the alternative (Facebook or some other kind of time suck).

 

 

Dear Sports Bra, thank you for all your support, but your recent poking
is taking the "support" a little too far. Love, Kayla.P.S. I will see what I can do as far as a little surgery for you so we can meet again.
P.S.S. As you can see below, your replacement isn't doing too great either.

 

Between crawling and walking along furniture, he's getting around pretty good these days.

Might as well get all four top ones out of the way at once. (Yes, he's hanging upside down, it was the only way to get him to open his mouth enough for a picture.) Lol.

 Thanks for stopping by and checking in on us!
We appreciate all the love and support we get from family & friends!

Spring Splendor, Booby Blunders

This spring has been amazing with the exception of the handful of 90 degree days we've had. I've really enjoyed getting outside and probably more so, getting Squeak outside. That kid is ALL boy and LOVES being outside!

I have been doing a great job of using Squeak wanting to be outside to motivate me to run, or walk on the days I feel lazy but know I need to get the Squeak Monster outside. And by the way, since I assume you found your way to this blog post via the link on Facebook, thanks for not blocking or deleting me due to all my annoying MapMyRun posts. And an even bigger thanks to all who have "liked" any or all of my posts because believe it or not it's encouraging. We went up to Minnesota for half of last week and the weekend and I didn't get any workouts in which made me worried my workout success was going to be short-lived, but I've grudgingly jumped back on the workout wagon this week now that we're back home. I don't know about all of you, but I HAVE to push myself to do something nearly every day until I get some momentum, which for me, is probably a good month of daily (or at least 5 days weekly) exercise of some kind. The hubby has been very good about encouraging me this week, and I know if it wasn't for him, this week would have been bad bad bad (it hasn't been stellar by any means the way it is).

 I enjoy running. I enjoy the feeling after a good run (not always during). I enjoy seeing how my clothes start to fit better. I enjoy seeing some muscle tone (which I lost a lot of during pregnancy, so it's been really nice seeing it reappear). What I don't enjoy.....

[Men (I don't think there's any that actually read my blog out there, but): You might want to skip this paragraph]

My boobs. They have a momentum all of their own. And trying to match my stride with their momentum isn't always easy. I am soooo envious of girls/women who can buy cute workout clothes. You know, the matching sports bras, tanks, and shorts or running pants. The clothes you can go to a store and buy. And for the record, I hate bra shopping and I hate shopping for clothes online, so having to find a bra online usually results in a couple hundred dollars worth of bras being purchased, and all but MAYBE one or two bras that fall into the category they're-not-perfect-but-I-need-something-so-I'll keep-them, and the rest get returned. I probably haven't owned a bra that fit well/right since the eighth grade. Large cups paired with average sized shoulders/chest equals no such bra designed. I know I know, the female who is happy with all aspects of her body doesn't exist, and I've probably made it plenty clear to all of blogland (and pretty much anyone I've ever talked to more than a handful of times) my least favorite anatomical feature. So much so, I've actually thought I maybe should've named my blog "Booby Blunders" or "The Troubles with Boobs".

[Men rejoin here, and please take note]
So naturally when I run I am super self-conscience of my boobs' "momentum." The first day I ran, I ran on a gravel road just a block from our house that went out of town. Why? Minimal traffic. I hate the thought of people seeing me run, especially males. I am well aware of male eyes wondering, I didn't just grow these things yesterday! This is going to sound ridiculous to some based on the topic of discussion, but I once read or heard, can't remember for sure which, something along the lines of, "Don't be the reason for the fall of another woman's husband." I'll admit to being naive about a lot of things, but I'm not naive enough to think that a little jog is going to make another man leave his wife. I'd like to think you can understand the connection here, though. With that said, I have started running through town, and for the first few runs I was still pretty apprehensive. However, I keep telling myself I can't let my worries keep me from being healthy. I feel I support myself and cover myself the best I can the majority of the time, and the lookers are going to look regardless. But at least I've done what I can to control the situation. Besides, I also realize that runners in general draw people's attention for a number of different reasons. The more I write, the more I feel like I make a bigger deal out of it than it really is. Just because they're slapping me in the face with every stride doesn't mean that's what's on everyone else's mind. People probably don't even notice me on my way by. Ego deflated.

One last brief note while we're on the topic....I haven't pumped since Sunday. Wah-whooooo!!!  I do miss it a little.

Thanks for checking in!

To Wean or Not to Wean

For the past 7+ months I've been dreaming of the day I could quit pumping. I started with the goal of making it 6 months, hoping I would be able to produce enough to establish a good freezer stash that could get us close to the year mark. I have been blessed with an oversupply and for the first 5-6 months my daily output was twice what Squeak was eating, and the freezer quickly started filling up. So much so, we had to go out and buy a chest freezer. So now hundreds of freezer bags later, is it enough to justify starting the weaning process?

Blessed to have enough to freeze at the end of each day!!

Despite reading from several sources that it takes 12 weeks to "establish" a supply and you should pump 8-10 times a day until the 12 week mark, I dropped to 4 pumps per day (ppd) probably around four weeks, as I noticed it seemed at the end of the day, my output was the same whether I pumped eight times or four times. I think it's also worth mentioning that I was never too worried about my supply (a pumping mom who NEVER worries even a little about her supply simply doesn't exist). I didn't/don't have anything against formula and if for whatever reason my supply tanked, there was always formula. And trust me, there have been several times I wished something WOULD happen to my supply so I could get out of having to pump. Also being able to provide [more than enough] food for my son finally made carrying these things around on my chest for 28+ years worth it!! But I digress. My average daily output was about 50 ounces, which I maintained pretty much through the six month goal. Between some hectic days around this time and feeling a little lax since I had made my goal, I dropped to 3ppd and was still producing 40-45 ounces per day. Just in the past few weeks I've dropped to 2ppd producing about 30 ounces a day, which is just about exactly what Squeak eats daily (28 ounces).

So I've been more seriously toying with the idea of weaning now in the past week or so. They (the mom's in an "exclusively expressing/pumping" group I'm part of on Facebook) always tell mom's who share with the group that they are struggling, "don't quit on a bad day," but it's so much easier to quit when it's not going well, when it feels like you're constantly having to schedule a day around the pump, when the sound of the pump is on your very last nerve, when all you want to do is go to bed but you need to pump...you get the point. I'm finding it much harder to make the decision to quit and set a date to be done. I think there's several reasons for this:

1) Feeling selfish. There are several mom's who choose to pump and desperately want to provide what is "best" for their child, but for whatever reason they can't. I know everyone has to do what works for them and for their life/circumstances, so if I feel like now is the time to be done and to ride it out to the year mark on our freezer stash, then I shouldn't feel guilty. But what makes me feel guilty/selfish is that there really isn't anything that has changed in my life to make me unable to continue to pump, I just simply want to be done.

2) Fear. Fear of the freezer stash not being as much as I think it is and running out (I should really count it). Fear of Squeak refusing the frozen milk. I've thawed about two months of the frozen and given it to him, but it's always been mixed with fresh. Fear of improperly going about the weaning process and ending up in pain (mastitis). Maybe even a bit of fear of change, a change in a routine that has worked and I've become comfortable with for the past 6 months.

3) Easy calories. Let's be serious, producing milk is an "easy" workout (20-30 calories per ounce of milk, you can do the math). My plan is to get back to doing my at-home DVD workouts once I quit pumping. I'm going to have to do some kind of workout and start watching what I eat again. BOOO!!!

With all that said, my proposed date to quit is SUNDAY, Squeak's 8 month birthday. I was good with this decision until about Wednesday. Goodness, I never ever would have imagined in a million years how hard this decision would be!!!

Squeak enjoying him some "boob juice"