Jet Lag

Last weekend we made our first trip to Minnesota. (*This was September 19-23, but it was last weekend at the time I started this post.) As I had been told, Hayden traveled well, sleeping the majority of the way.

Oops!
I guess I'll have to quit giving Matt a hard time about doing stuff like this (at least for a little while)!

Minnesota
We pulled in to the farm (my parents) a little after 8pm on Friday. We got Hayden out of the truck and inside, and the fight for who got to hold him began. :-) It wasn't much of a fight since it had apparently been discussed beforehand that Grandpa would be first since he hadn't seen him yet. It was when Grandpa was taking too long to get Hayden out of his car seat that Grandma barked at him to either take his turn or she was going to. And that was the last I would hold my son (well, except the mid-night/early morning feedings) until Monday.

Saturday morning was spent getting pretty for pictures. It wasn't too hard to do since we're all so good-looking anyway...and also because I forgot my make-up and hair products at home, so showering and blow drying my hair was about the extent of what could be done.  We got some GREAT pics, but since they're Christmas card pics you'll have to wait. ;-)

Family started rolling in shortly after pics and the rest of the day was spent showing off/sharing Squeak and visiting. Cody & Kayla came over in the afternoon and we exchanged shower gifts and they met Hayden. As you may recall from my previous post, I accidently booked my shower right on top of Kayla's. At dusk, everyone gathered around the campfire for a fireworks display using up what was left from the 4th of July. I watched a couple, and then took advantage of all the awake family members to take care of Squeak and snuck off to the house to turn in early. 8:30pm. Yes. It. Was. Amazing. I got 5 hours of uninterrupted sleep! I felt like I could conquer the world when I got up.

Cousins, William and Hayden – 3 months apart
(William is the son of my cousin Phil, and his wife Angie)

Kayla meeting Hayden for the first time. She and Cody are expecting a little girl in November.
We're so excited for them!

Baby Shower
My aunts threw Squeak and I a very nice shower on Sunday afternoon. It was the perfect size gathering, allowing me to catch up with some very important people in my life. I was reminded how sweet of people I was surrounded by growing up, and they were all so welcoming of Hayden. I think I underestimated the pride I would feel when "showing off" Squeak.

My wonderful aunts who hosted our Minnesota shower.

Thank you to everyone who attended, or sent their congrats in some manner! Also...I have to make mention of the scrumptious fruit pizza Aunt Teri made. I was so bummed when I went back for seconds and there weren't any. :-(

So this is where I was going to write about "The Week After," but since I'm just now "finishing" this post on Squeak's two month birthday, I guess I'll just include it in my two month post.

The First Month

First Nickname
I'm going to start with this so I can use it throughout the post. :-) When we got home late Thursday night, we were standing in the living room for the first time as a family. With this being our first, everything is new to us. I'm sure many babies "squeak" when they are new and don't have many other sounds they are capable of making...but our baby seemed to do nothing but make little squeaks, so his dad and I started calling him "Squeak," "Squeaker," or "Squeaks" right from the start. We think we're clever, and it's cute and unique to us and our son. If you also nicknamed your baby Squeak, cool, but please don't tell me about it and pop my bubble. Lol. If you have a nickname story about your child that doesn't involve Squeak, please share.

Breastfeeding
Feeding is a big deal. I know, news flash, right?!?! During my pregnancy, there was really no doubt in my mind I'd be breastfeeding. My reasoning of thinking my "big" breasts were finally going to have a purpose may have been wrong. No, actually I had just heard how expensive formula is and decided I didn't want to have to go back to work the day I left the hospital just to be able to feed my son. Okay, okay, in all honesty, I had heard all the benefits of breast milk for babies and wanted to give my son the best nutrition I could.

So skin-to-skin immediately after birth, as recommended by "the experts" was the plan to help get us off to a good start. C-section changed those plans.

As soon as I was able, we started nursing. The kid was a rock star. Mom felt like a rock star. Life was good and we were all eating good. Nursing continued to go great at the hospital, and we left very confident, ready to get comfortable at home in our own environment.

Thursday night and Friday during the day were good. BUT, then the struggles began. Squeak was hungry but not getting a good latch. I felt like a failure and was crying. (I've quickly realized as the mother of a "helpless" baby, I, as the mom, feel like I am failing when I something is wrong/uncomfortable/etc.)

Squeak had gone nearly 10 hours without eating due to latching problems, and we knew we needed to do something. I was of course crying and didn't want to talk to anyone through my tears, thinking of a few friends I could call if I could pull myself together. However, my mom suggested maybe we call and talk to a nurse at the hospital instead. I made a list of everything I thought might be pertinent, called Matt in from mowing the lawn, and made the call on speaker phone. Praise the Lord for my wonderful husband being there for me and Squeak. Once the nurse was on the phone and he got the conversation started, I was able to pull myself together and talk to the nurse. We loaded up as a family and headed to the hospital for an appointment with the lactation consultant.

After being forgotten about by registration in the ER waiting room, we finally made it to our appointment to get some help/answers. Squeak latched on like a rock star again once the nurse showed us a different technique for getting him the nipple, and we had regained confidence. Back home, ready to conquer all hunger. Oh, I should also note I wore slippers to town, as I was still not yet adjusted to "real life." Lol.

Back home we did good until the night again. I have a friend who successfully breastfed for 18 months and was very knowledgeable on the subject, so I text her an update Sunday morning that we were having the same problems and had once again gone 8+ hours with no food and that I was beyond discouraged. Her nearly immediate response, "On my way."

"She was our angel today."
On her way she was. She first handed me a Mike's Hard Lemonade and told me it wouldn't hurt me or Squeak, and that I needed to relax. Amazing how those things dried up my tears. She also had a special mix made of dry milk and dark corn syrup for us to Squeak to get something in his stomach. How does she know all this?!? Told ya she was smart.

Between her and my sister (who was also an angel), we spent all day Sunday trying and trying and trying new things. My sister had gone to Salina and bought nearly every breast feeding aid there was. The final thing we pulled out...a nipple shield. Finally, success.

I'd also like to note here that my mom was going to take off Saturday morning, but after my rough night, she agreed to stay until I was comfortable. She even sent a text on Sunday morning when she was finally on her way home that said she could turn around if she needed to, after hearing about our second rough night. Bless her heart! There were also several friends keeping in contact via text, giving advice and encouragement. I honestly can't think of another time I felt so surrounded and embraced with loving friends and family. Get yourself surrounded with people who care and people you are comfortable with if you're going to breast feed. I never imagined how exhausting and emotional it would be, and I couldn't do it on my own.

That night as Matt and I were praying, he thanked the Lord for our friend and said, "She was our angel today."

(The nipple shield worked for a couple days, but we were still struggling with consistently latching and I was an emotional wreck, so on Wednesday morning, I made the decision I was going to pump exclusively and get him the "boob juice" via a bottle. More work, yes, but he's getting the breast milk AND a happy mom, which was another thing my friend stressed the importance of. You have to do what is right and works for you and your baby.)

The 3-hour Routine
Adjusting to the feeding schedule of a newborn takes more than the first month, I can tell ya that much. And although the first several days the child just wanted to sleep and I had to set an alarm clock for night feedings, I can assure you I no longer have a need for an alarm clock. (Well, today I set one for 9:30 because I wanted to lay down with Squeak for awhile, but had stuff I wanted to get done before he woke again.)

By the time I feed him, get him settled down, pump, clean the bottles and pumping stuff, there's just not much time left. This, on our good days, is getting much better.

Today I felt like Wonder-Mom...I took care of Squeak, finished balancing the checkbook, cleaned the house for a showing at 6, packed bags for all three of us for our first family Minnesota trip, and even gave "the pink dancing lady logo legs." I may have forgotten to stop for a meal for myself, and was desperately in need of pumping before Squeak woke up looking for another bottle, but I did it!!

As it is said though, once you get comfortable with how things are going, something will change. At four weeks, Squeak got really gassy. We're still in the process of differentiating between gassy cries and hungry cries, but we're getting it figured out and finding some comfort solutions for the gas.

Mommy Brain
When I initially started this post and made this subhead, I had one story to share. However, after receiving a text from my best friend today, I now officially have two stories to share.

The first one happened on a blistering hot Wednesday afternoon. It was a rare day that actually had a schedule. Our realtor organized a tour of our home and a few others in Minneapolis by offering other Salina realtors a trip up on a party bus with drinks and snacks. I knew I had to have the house looking good and be gone by 3pm. Since it was Wednesday, it was a perfect day to head over to Lincoln for my co-workers to meet Squeak. About 2:30pm I was loading the car and figured I should get it running to cool it down to at least 100 degrees before loading Squeak. The next 28 minutes were spent searching for my key which was not to be found anywhere. Time to plan "Plan B."

Today's mommy moment still makes me feel like a real "dip." My best friend text me and said,

"So I see that our baby showers r on the same day and at the same time. I was wondering if there is a time we can meet so I can meet little Hayden and give u your gift???"

I kid you not, I didn't have a date set for my baby shower in Minnesota yet when I got her invite. I noticed right away her shower was the weekend we were going to be in Minnesota and it would work out perfect to schedule it the opposite day of the weekend. I could have SWORN the invite said hers was Saturday, so I scheduled mine for Sunday. Perfect, perfect, perfect...NOPE. Read the invite wrong and scheduled my shower right on top of hers. Gah, I'm still mad at myself! Thankfully it's going to work out for her to stop by and see us Saturday.

My first outting with Hayden
There's not a whole lot to say here other than it was FAR more exhausting and taxing on me than I ever would have imagined. We had a one week doctor appointment, and at this point we were still breastfeeding (with an inconsistent latch). Oy.

My first outting without Hayden
Oh my goodness. The actual day and outting was amazing, but the night before, making the plans, I could have cried us out of our drought last spring.
In order to take part in the day, it was going to require something new. Either taking Hayden on his first day trip in the motorhome, or leaving him alone with a sitter, I went back and forth between those two options, and the option of just staying home with him and letting Matt go, for a few hours I would guess. And everytime I looked at him, I cried a little more.

Hormones are seriously CRAZY! At one point I had to admit to Matt that being able to leave him with a sitter made me feel like I wasn't needed. I mean, up to this point, I had been with him nearly every moment since he'd been born (besides one or two times when he was with his dad). But both of us being gone, this was crazy talk. I couldn't eat supper. I was so distraught. I finally asked Matt if we could set a time to leave and a time to be back home so I knew what to expect of the day. I could prepare myself for that way, and it worked good.

Squeak's grandma came up and took care of him for the day, and Matt and I were able to load up the RZR and go spend a day together as a couple, really without any worry. Thanks to all who made the day so enjoyable...it was sure great to see Squeak at the end of the day, though.

Walks in the Park
I've been excited about getting back in to shape again since about the second month of pregnancy. We've been going on several family walks, which have been great, and it feels great to be out moving around. I really enjoy taking Hayden with and being able to watch him as I walk. It sure makes the time seem to go by much quicker.

So the other night while I was over at the track, my legs, my brain and my heart said, "let's try running." Yeah......my boobs said, "there's no bra that will support these milk jugs, try again in six months." Kind of a sad moment, and I'd like to think I won't have to wait six months, but I'm afraid the boobs don't lie. Wish me luck, I guess; and until then, we'll keep walking.

THE END
(Hopefully I'll have the opportunity to post again before it has to be a big long post about the second month.)

Maternity Pictures

Click here to view these pictures larger

Up-DATES

Awe...only two more weeks! Or AHHHH...only two more weeks! I haven't quite decided yet, but in the meantime...

• I feel my motherly instincts have already kicked in...I have had Hayden's bag packed and (hopefully) ready for nearly two weeks now, but haven't even started packing my bag. Of course, Hayden's not currently using any of the stuff that needs to be in his bag.
• Our doctor said he didn't want to go past our due date because of my history of high blood pressure, so if we induce before then, I'd expect we'll be heading to the hospital on August 22. Our next doctor appointment is Tuesday, so we'll see if we can set a date then, since I don't think he's coming on his own prior to the 24th.
• August 22...That's my twin cousins' birthday. Hayden should feel honored if he happens to get the opportunity to share a birthday with Phil & Anna! :)

L-R: Phil, his wife Angie, Anna, her husband Mark

• Also thinking of his arrival, I got to thinking about how old Hayden's mom and dad will be when he is born. Dad will be 31 and Mom will be 28. And I have no explanation for how my brain works, but this instantly made me realize that in the year 2031, we'll be celebrating an 18th & a 50th birthday party! Goodness, what a year that'll be![Phil & Anna are the same age as Matt, so if Hayden happens to share a birthday with them, that'll be a big day for all of them!]
• Hayden's cousin, LILY KATE was born yesterday!! Such an amazing little blessing from God she is. God's timing is always perfect, even if you have to wait years for the answer you want. Congratulatons, Joe, Sylvia & Nora!! [And sticking with the dates theme...08-08 is a pretty cool birthday!]

Lily Kate arrived at 2 pm on 08-08-2013. She is 7 lbs. 5 oz. and 19 1/2 inches long.

Well, I suppose I better get back to wrapping up my work projects and the other month or two's worth of stuff I need to do in the next two weeks before we have a wonderful little distraction hanging out at our house with us!

Oh, we had some maternity pictures taken this past week...naturally on the hottest, most humid day of the summer...the photographer said they look great and we should be able to get them tomorrow night at her daughter's 1st birthday party, so as long as she's not lying to me about how they look, I'll post some on my next blog update! :)

GodSTOP #1

In Beth Moore's Bible Study, "Believing God," she introduces an exercise to help each of us notice how God is at work in our lives and our surroundings. Her description of a GodStop is “any way God discloses Himself to you." I am going to try to make a weekly GodSTOP (Savoring The Observable Presence) here on my blog. Feel free to comment below with any GodSTOP you'd like to share.

GodSTOP (Week 31)

• Five hour conversation with Grandpa & Grandma Usher on Tuesday which encouraged me the rest of the day and week (Read more about that here)

• My backup support person (for labor, in case the hubby is on the road) rearranging her schedule to be sure she was available for me.

• My neighbor checking in on how I'm feeling via Facebook. (She has agreed to be my backup driver, if necessary.)

• Matt commenting on my Facebook status implying the races were almost over and saying "I love you," knowing I was missing him at home and awaiting his arrival.

• The gentleman sitting next to me at the races who saw me struggling to change the battery on the video camera and coming over with his flashlight and helping me find the "battery release" button.

• The smile on "Grandpa" Kvacik's face when he opened his "very-belated" Father's Day gift. A shirt that reads, "GRANDPA...Grand kids love me, fish fear me."

• Receiving a very heartfelt, beautiful, hand-made gift for Hayden from his grandparents.

• Watching Grandma Usher "love" on Matt as they were sitting by each other when we stopped by Sunday afternoon.

• Grandpa Usher's willingness to help glue a shelf back together for us.

Priceless Conversation

If you're still blessed enough to have grandparents living...when's the last time you stopped to visit with them?

Yesterday, after my doctor appointment, I didn't have a whole lot planned, so I decided to swing by Grandpa and Grandma's for a visit. And maybe see if they wanted to go get lunch if I was still there at noon.

Now, to give you a little background, "Grandpa and Grandma" in this case are my husband's grandparents whom I was absolutely blessed to call my own on the day I said, "I do." My husband had moved in with them before leaving for college in Minnesota, and his room was still waiting for him when he returned after college. They also gave me a room to live in, since I had made the decision to follow him back. I don't recall exactly how long it was that we stayed with them, but I know it was 18+ months. Matt joked later that he moved me in with Grandma so she could "train me." Grandma always had lunches ready for him in the morning, supper on the table when he got home, did the laundry, and anything else she could spoil him with to make my job harder as the wife-to-be. Lol. I observed, but I haven't mastered it all just yet. ;)

Anyway, grandpa and grandma are always excited to see me (us) when we stop by. They're like the dog who has been left home alone all day when they see you pull in to the driveway...that kind of excited! How does that not make someone feel special, important, and loved?!?!

When I walked in the door, Grandma excitedly said, "It's Kayla!" She immediately stopped what she had been working on, offered me a seat, and asked if there was anything she could get me. Their hospitality simply blows me away and inspires me to appreciate the people close to me in life with just simple acts of selflessness and giving of my undivided attention.

Grandma and I sat in the dining room and visited for awhile before Grandpa wandered in and joined the conversation. They're so easy to visit with, and I can talk to them about ANYTHING. We covered a very wide range of topics including my friends, their friends, family, travel experiences, jobs, finances, marriage, aging (Grandma recently got hearing aids), and even GoDaddy.com.

We ate lunch (leftovers). Visited more. And then Grandma had to leave to volunteer at the local Bible Camp in the Snack Bar. Grandpa and I continued visiting.

Five hours of PRICELESS CONVERSATION later, I decided I better go run my errands I had in town and head toward home.

Both Grandpa and Grandma thanked me more than once for stopping by to visit, and I told them I would stop again soon, sometime when both Matt and I could visit. Because the conversations are just so packed full of little nuggets of wisdom, that when I visit by myself, I feel like Matt is missing out.

Don't miss out on the amazing relationship that God intended between grandparents and grandchildren...make time to slow down and enjoy a visit with your grandparents today (if you still have the opportunity). Who knows, it may just make your day, your week, or even your month...I know it did mine!

--------------------

Excerpt from an article I read which I felt relevant to this post:

"Positive roles that grandparents play are caretaker, storyteller, family historian, mentor, wizard, confidant, negotiator between child and parent, and model for the child’s own old age. When a child has a strong emotional tie to a grandparent, he enjoys a kind of immunity—he doesn’t have to perform for grandparents the way he must for his parents, peers and teacher. The love of grandparents comes with no behavioral strings attached. The emotional conflicts that often occur naturally between children and parents do not exist between grandparents and grandchildren.

Another good read I found was "What is the Role of a Christian Grandfather or Grandmother"

Choices

GO FORCE!
Brothers, Chase (#11) and Trenton (#4), at their final game of the 2013 season
Photo taken by their mom

As Matt was on his way home yesterday, he text me and asked, "Are you planning on a baseball game?"

I had been going back and forth with this all day, and probably some the day before even. It was our little brother's (Big Brothers Big Sisters) last game of the season, which was actually a make up game from a rain out earlier in the season. If you know me, you know I'm a sports fan and will attend pretty much any live event of any given sport, especially college level and lower, whether I know someone or not. So it's pretty much a given that I'm going to want to go when I know someone playing.

But a CHOICE had to be made this particular evening. There were several factors that went in to this decision:

1. It's deadline time for me at work.
• Therefore, my housework has been completely pushed aside until a later date.
2. My boss talked about coming to pick up files so he could start proofing.
• Therefore, I needed to clean up, at least somewhat, so I wasn't completely and totally embarrassed to have him walk through my house.
3. My parents are going to be stopping by for a visit on their way to Utah this weekend.
• Once again, must clean house so my mom doesn't feel like a total failure at raising me, and my husband isn't hiding in the corner in shame of his wife.
4. At the time of the text, I had yet to shower and get cleaned up for the day.
• THAT'S GROSS! But also a perk of working from home. (Do note that I [generally] clean up before entering a public setting.)
• However, my wardrobe is quite thin because I refuse to buy clothes I can only wear for 2-3 weeks, 3 months max if I was any good at shopping for maternity clothes, and...you guessed it, my housework has been put off until a later date, so even if I had cleaned up, I really had no clean clothes to put on afterwards.

So, due to desperately needing to stay home and clean my house (and not having any clothes to wear, which is generally appreciated by society when you step outside the walls of your home), I opted to stay home and miss the final game.

Oh, there was one, non-housework related factor in making this CHOICE.

1. I've attended all but maybe a small handful of their games, and quite truthfully, they've lost all but two games, and at large margins for the most part as well.

Around 9:00 p.m. I decided it was time to text Trenton's dad and find out how the game went... the reply I got was... "They won. Trenton had two hits, one really good one."

AAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!

It was at that point that I instinctively wanted to send all the "excuses" why we couldn't be at the game (my deadline at work, Matt not getting home until late, housework, blah blah blah). But who really wants to hear all that. I mean, if you think about it, they're not really excuses...it was just a long chain and effect of CHOICES I had made.

So I simply replied, "Awesome. Tell him we're sorry we missed it!"