NUTRITION - For Me

Let me just start off by saying I somehow need to figure out how to write a blog in less than 6-8 hours!! Good golly...I'm notoriously slow at nearly everything I do, you'd think I'd just be used to it, but no, it's still annoying as all get out!!

So anyway...

I just (as in 6 hours ago when I first opened up Blogger) listened to DEFINE YOUR LIFE #25 FOOD -- a podcast by Shaun T.  This was not only exactly what I needed to hear, but they also explain so many of my thoughts on food to an exact "T".

"Accepting where your body is, where you want it to be, and how to maintain that body without stressing yourself out or depriving yourself..."

-Shaun T, intro to podcast

I've been in a "slump" with my weight loss progress, which for several months now I've [tried] accepting it's not about weight loss any more, but rather about toning up, feeling good, and finding balance.  And I'm not here to say it isn't still, but deciphering what is a healthy balance and what is old habits slowly creeping back in is mentally exhausting to say the least.

For me...

...eating healthy is enjoyable. But I still "crave" unhealthy food.  Some of it has been much easier to completely give up than I expected it would be.  Some of it I think I want until given the opportunity, and then realize I don't want it bad enough to either, a) feel like crud, or b) negate my progress, which I'm figuring out can be mental or physical progress at this point. And then there's some of it that will just always find a way into my body, and I'll [learn to] be okay with it!

...telling myself, "If you want it, just have it!" doesn't feel like an option.  I won't definitively say that it is NOT an option, because I do feel like it is something I am trying to work toward, but the fact of the matter is, I believe I have/had an unconcious addiction to food.  "All addictions work in the same part of the brain. Addiction is addiction is addiction. Therefore one drug can lead you back to any other drug." (Reference: www.AddictionsAndRecovery.org)  For me, I still feel like I'm in the process of learning new coping skills and changing my mindset/relationship with food. If I don't learn these new skills, then I will not change, and the addiction will catch up with me all over again.  But at least now I have transitioned from eating too much junk food to just simply eating too much.

...being a Beachbody Coach is the key to maintaining a clean eating lifestyle.  However, I need to understand that being a Beachbody coach doesn't mean I have to expect a perfect body or a perfect diet. The whole reason my friends and family can (or should be able to) relate to my story is because they know me and see that I'm just a normal person making healthy choices to better my quality of life.

...there will always be a scale in my bathroom, and I am likely to step on it every morning. Yes, no matter how often I tell myself or others, I do care what the scale says. Maybe if/once I get a handle on how often and how much I am eating, I'll be able to do away with this check/method of accountability, but for now, I still need/want it. And I will say I'm much more aware and okay with daily fluctuations, and that through my workouts my body composition is changing which also effects the number, but in the end, for me, I need the check.

Passion, Persistance & Payoff

Here it is 11 o'clock at night and I'm just now getting around to starting this blog that I've been thinking about over half the day. I know if I go to bed without putting these thoughts in to writing, they won't ever make it outside my mind, and sometimes I think I just need a good clearing out of my mind from time to time.

The past 1-1/2+ years I've become very passionate about changing Matt and I's lifestyle, and paying it forward as much as possible for those looking for solutions in this area.  And as easily as I could digress into the back story, this post is really being written more to focus on today's accomplishments/realizations.

About 4 months ago I determined I needed to regain focus on myself in order to figure out and solve some problems I'd been having with binge eating and food guilt that was causing a lot of unwanted stress to my life.  In doing so, I have gone back to tracking my calories in MyFitnessPal, and in addition, been tracking my macros (here's an article with further information for those interested).

My goal is to still eat as clean and balanced as possible, but also know my target calorie and macros are my overall goal, so if I want something that isn't clean, if it fits my macros (IIFYM) and I'm consistently getting my workouts in, I haven't committed some kind of nutritional sin. It sounds over the top, but it's not that far off of what my reality had become.

With a weird morning...Hayden waking up at 4am and finding myself downstairs on the couch resting off and on between his demands requests for a couple hours, then going back to bed (and pushing Matt out of bed to go down and get his workout done), I ended up not waking up until 9:30 or so. Come supper time, I had plenty of calories remaining to have pretty much anything I wanted...OK, maybe a large Casey's pizza would've broke the calorie bank...lol.  I himmed and hawed for 30-45 minutes over what I could have.

Here's what I ended up with (pretty much all leftovers in the fridge)...

Matt was on the road and hinted to the fact he'd probably be stopping for Mexican, so naturally my thought was, "If he gets Mexican, then I'm gonna have Mexican!" Haha! 

With 900+ calories going in to supper, I really didn't even worry about approximating in my head the calories going into the burrito, because I wasn't too worried I was going to go over, and if it was the last thing I ate, I was comfortable with that fact. As you can see here, I still had nearly an entire meals worth of calories left. The freedom to make the Grilled Stuffed Burrito however I thought sounded best was really quite nice! :D  It's the little things that make me happy...and Mexican food!

So then with a little over 400 calories remaining, I had the dilemma freedom to have pretty much whatever I desired for a sweet treat / dessert as well. :D

After looking at where I stood with my macros, the carb and protein I had left looked awfully similar to the Shakeology nutrition label, and "brownie batter" pretty much always sounds amazing, it was pretty much a no-brainer. My fat macro was lacking pretty significantly today, so that's why I threw in the walnuts for this batch.

As I mentioned, I had a lot of freedom going into this evening, and was pretty set on "treating" myself to something I wouldn't typically reach for...and I DO feel like I treated myself, it just ended up being a realization that I do in fact find myself gravitating toward clean/healthy options after over a year of consciously making wise decisions that fuel my fitness goals. Yay!

My perfectionism still runs wild getting caught up in playing Macro Tetris each day, but I'm far more relaxed than I used to be, my binge eating doesn't seem to be a major issue, I feel stronger than ever in my legs and core in particular, and even though my weight is a little higher than I "think" it should be, I'm feeling more and more confident my body composition is going in the right direction.

As I was telling my sister-in-law, who was hanging out with Hayden and I this afternoon/evening, there are definitely times I miss the days of not being so particular and careful about weighing/measuring food, I certainly don't miss the consequences of improperly fueling my body.  Right now, this is what is working for me, and I will continue down this path until it no longer seems to be working at which point I'll go back to researching solutions for whatever the new issue may be.

By the way, it was fun for me to be able to have her here to fix a couple healthy meals for...I always get a little nervous, wondering if my tastebuds and body have changed enough that something I find delicious, is going to produce the same reaction for someone accustomed to a different food/flavor/taste palette. If you know her and see her (when I'm not around), ask her what her thoughts were on the burrito...but what she told me was that she liked it! :D  Hopefully it got her excited about next week's {free} healthy choices accountability group I'm hosting via a new mobile app. Shoot me a message for instructions on how to get a personal invite with instructions headed your way!

An Average Day

Today when Matt got home from being on the road since Monday afternoon, he asked me, "How was your day?"

My answer: Average.

There wasn't anything that made it super amazing, but there wasn't anything bad about it either. It was just one of those days that fill in the gaps of our typically crazy and busy calendar of events.

Hayden and I were out late last night watching the KC Royals as they beat the Houston Astros in Game 5 of the ALDS finals.  So when he woke up crying and knocking on his door this morning at 4:30am, and it being the third night of being just us at home, sleeping rules were broken and he joined me in Mommy & Daddy's bed...[he had to see the buses, which has become kind of a morning ritual the past week or so].  Naturally they are most comfortable with their feet touching you in some way, shape or form, but we both managed to sleep good still, and I had the joy of waking first and being able to just look over and see his cute little face and hear his little breaths. The lyric, "Let them be little" has popped into my head more than a couple times in different situations throughout the past few weeks.

My Boy
Getting so big, but still so small.

Someone found the picture-taking button on mom's phone!
We'll get out of bed and start our day, but first...A SELFIE!

My morning was a little off from routine, partially because I haven't been having my usual breakfast this week (just switching things up, adding some variety) and once I finished my workout, I wasn't sure what I wanted for breakfast. However, I DID know that I wanted to try a new recipe for a Queso Chicken Soup with Roasted Corn & Jalapenos, so I went ahead and got that started so it would be ready around 4:30-5:00. This is the third crockpot meal I've made this week, and I am loving it. I am able to basically be done in the kitchen for the day by 9:00-10:00 once breakfast is cooked, cleaned up, and then all the ingredients are prepped and put in the crockpot. It makes for a much smoother afternoon/evening...and makes the house smell amazing all day long, which when you're home all day, that can be good and bad!

I played a couple word games (I am currently super addicted to the Word Streak Live Tournaments)...go ahead and think the stay-at-home mom stereotypes thoughts you're having. I'll admit to it, and there's a lot of times I know I should be doing something more productive. But there's also days I have absolutely zero time to even think about playing my games because I'm so swamped, so I enjoy them when I have time to.

Apparently whatever else I was doing a little later in the day wasn't too exciting for Hayden (or me...it was dishes), and he must've still been worn out from the long evening watching baseball, because I walked into the living room to see that he wasn't watching Mighty Machines anymore. :P  I can probably count on one hand the number of times he's fallen asleep on his own (other than in the carseat)...so naturally I had to grab the camera and get a pic!

He woke up 5-10 minutes before Matt pulled in the driveway, which was pretty perfect timing!  It wasn't long before they were headed out to the shop together, and then not much longer after that before they were back inside with the KITTY they found!

I don't think Kitty was as nearly excited about the new friendship.

I had been inside roasting the corn and peppers to finish off the soup.  Which by the way tasted FANTASTIC!  This is a prime example of a meal I try to emphasize that although CLEAN, it's probably not highly recommended for those who are truly looking to lose weight with it's high sodium content from the cheese, and really just not a whole lot for veggies...way less than what I've gotten used to at supper anyway. We kept our portion sizes in check, and followed it up with a 7 mile bike ride, though, so I think we'll be fine!!

Queso Chicken Soup with Roasted Corn & Jalapenos

What do you do with new friends?
Invite them to eat with you, of course!

And, of course, he's allergic to his new friend.

After bath, stories, prayer and "mommy, NAP!" time with Hayden about 7:30-8:00, Matt and I pulled the two couches together in the living, picked out a movie on Netflix, and just enjoyed being together for the first time all week (boom-chicka-bow-wow).

That's it. An average day. These are the days I want to remember to remember!

Weekend Warriors

"Quick" and "blog post" are three words that don't normally go together in the same sentence for me (unless followed by the words, "yeah right" or "I wish"). But I'm going to keep trying.

Summer is winding down, but since we don't have a kid in school yet, it doesn't really mean that our lives will slow down, it just means our hobbies and where we're going will be changing. It's hard to believe we only have a handful of lake weekends left. I have to admit, I'm 110% more on board with going to the lake every weekend opposed to the past several summers spent sweating and collecting dust at the dirt track races (although I miss all of our friends in that circle). But I must also admit I might be a little burned out on lake season, too. Or maybe not even as much that, as just feeling like, despite being a stay-at-home wife/mom, I never feel like I have time to fully recover between trips. But you know what...Matt works his butt off during the week, and the lake is his reward...and because he works his butt off making it possible for me to stay home and raise Hayden, being ready to go again each weekend feels like the least I can do for us. I'm hardly complaining! :D

With all that said, we had another full weekend which started with a simulator event in Delphos on Saturday. I believe we've set-up at this event every year since owning the simulators, and every year I am in awe at the fantastic event this little community puts on for residents of ALL ages. This year I was also pleasantly surprised with how well Hayden handled attending the event all day with us. It definitely helped to have Trenton with us (as always!) to help with the simulators, but we also got him a wristband and allowed him to take part in the other entertainment/activities they had available for the kids, such as the rock wall, the trampoline, and whether he actually would've on his own or not, a train ride with Hayden.  It was hot and humid with no breeze, and I was extremely ready to just be in the air conditioning doing nothing after hour 4 or 5, but Matt was ready to be in the lake (or at least at the lake), so once the simulators were loaded, we headed home to drop them off, took a couple showers, had a bite to eat, and all of us loaded back up in the motorhome (this has become a very rare scenario for us anymore these days) and headed to Wilson Lake to find our "BOOOOOOAAATTT" (as Hayden says)!

By the time we got to the lake, a pretty severe storm had already passed, making for some very good stories from our friends who endured it out "on the lake" as it came up while they were beached on the shoreline. Needless to say, it was late enough in the evening and they were pretty wore out, so we just hung out at camp and had some drinks.

 
(Yes, here it comes, the "Beachbody Coach" schpeel...).

I decided to have a couple drinks Saturday night, and for the first time in a very long time, I just enjoyed them without making myself feel completely and totally guilty about it. Along with the drinks came chips and some AMAZING corn dip. Which I also just enjoyed. Amazingly enough, I really didn't even have much morning after regret, and we kicked off the morning with a nice brisk family walk around camp, and shortly after that, I put on my swimsuit....still no regrets...just happy to be at the lake, coming off a relaxing evening after a long day in the sun...ready to hang out and enjoy good company with good friends, and watch the boys play/dig on the shore.

On a personal note...this was a pretty big weekend for me to be able to allow myself some guilt-free drinks and snacking, and not feel regret in the morning. I know I'm hard on myself, because I've seen what I AM capable of achieving, and I love the results of a "squeaky clean" diet and daily exercise. But I also believe reducing the amount of stress I put on myself and a "clean" diet COULD be beneficial for me in the right balance. I recently read an article by a nutritionist who allowed her clientele 100 discretionary calories a day to keep them from feeling too restricted. This is probably something I should more seriously incorporate into my plan.

From a coach standpoint...I feel it's important to not be "hypocritcal," which is where I feel a lot of my self-induced stress and "need for perfection" comes from.  I also don't want to give the wrong impression on what is required to achieve results.

Every fitness journey is unique.
Every body is unique.
Every mind is unique.

When you decide to commit to a healthy lifestyle, there are basic principles that can't be ignored. And anytime you make changes, old habits have to be broken, which will always require a healthy dose of self-control and determination.

I'm just trying to work through breaking a lot of old habits and conquering a lot of excuses like "letting life happen" because I've been blessed with an incredibly adventurous, fun-filled life that is most definitely happening and requires proper planning to keep me in check with my goals and my ability to keep up with all our crazy adventures!  And if through being real, coming alongside others, sharing my [imperfect] journey and the tools that work for me, I can have an impact on another life, FANTASTIC!

Next weekend is Tuttle Creek, then Hayden's {2nd} birthday week/weekend (most likely at the lake), the weekend after is my cousin's wedding, the two weekends following will be IMCA Super Nationals in Boone, then Matt's sister's wedding as well as a friend's wedding the next weekend...aaaaaaannnnnnddddd....a weekend off (as of now, of course)!

I get tired just thinking about it!

Confidence & Priorities

It is definitely time for me to put some of my thoughts down in writing because I have internalized them about as long as even I, an introvert, can mentally handle.

We enjoyed our first trip to the lake with our (and two of our friends) new pontoon this past weekend, which also marked my first official bikini trip since starting my “beach body” journey last year. I used to have a bikini body, but never realized it or appreciated it or had the confidence to embrace it. And then I skipped right to an I-don’t-even-want-to-put-a-swimsuit-on-of-any-kind body. Which considering I really never was a pool/lake type of person, this wasn’t something I had to worry too often.

But the self-confidence thing...I’m not sure where my lack of that comes from, but it’s not a new struggle. I just know I’m ready to deal with it now, and that I’m making big gains. Age is just a number, but as I near a milestone birthday in less than 2 weeks, I can’t help but notice a shift in my mentality, and developing an awareness to wanting to make MY agenda/life my #1 priority. Which not everyone is going to be able to relate to or understand the changes/sacrifices I make, nor would I—should I—expect them to, after all, it is MY life, not any one else’s. (Being able to grasp this is one of my many improvements already. The last time I was questioned about my "life choices" I allowed that person's perception of me to alter and doubt the new habits I had been forming that were working for me and slip backwards...but not this time.)

So what are my priorities...

• Being a supportive and helpful wife

• Raising a little boy in a way that will help him thrive and survive on his own one day, and enjoying all the stages along the way {mom}

• Living a life that takes care of my body

• Being a loyal friend

• Sharing my passion for fitness (and nutrition) with others {beachbody coach}

• Living a life pleasing to God and according to His word

[Are these in order despite a bulleted list rather than a numbered list you're wondering to yourself...? Truthfully, I would say yes. Would shuffling the bottom item of the list to the top of the list transform my life in even more positive ways than I could even fathom? ABSOLUTELY! But that's another topic I don't have the mental capacity to take on at the moment.)

As I mentioned, I’m making big gains in my self-confidence, as putting on my bikini and taking off my cover-up didn’t give me a panic attack this weekend. However, I asked a question of a friend that, if I were asked by someone, would cause me to question their self-confidence and need for reassurance. I wish I could take the question back so I wouldn’t be sitting here dwelling on why I asked it, but the truth of it is, I asked it, there was a reason I asked it, and even though dwelling on it isn’t healthy, dealing with it is necessary if I’m going to continue to grow and make progress toward genuine confidence (especially physically). I want to be there so bad…and I will be…and I’m much closer…but I’m just not quite there yet.

And as I continue to dwell on the question I asked of my friend, it was wrong on more levels than just my lack of confidence. I have no idea what I expected—or wanted—her response to be, but it just was poorly worded, poor timing, and poor judgement—which are things I’m unfortunately good at.

Isn’t self-awareness just awesome!?!?!

That’s mostly rhetorical, but I know my biggest improvements [generally] follow my most unnerving “failures.”

Our GIFT to YOU!

As a natural born "giver," I absolutely love this time of year and find myself thinking up the "perfect" gift for ANYONE and EVERYONE.  I pride myself in being a "thoughtful" giver, coming up with unique gifts for each individual on our list (and usually add too many people to the list!)

I became a Beachbody coach in an effort to give back and pay-forward the gift of health Matt and I received from our BB coaches starting in June, and I've had privilege of helping several family and friends reach goals they've been working at for months, even years, and some goals they didn't even think were possible. Their lives are changing and many of them are changing the lives of their families. And I want this list to grow, Grow, GROW!

So this Christmas...starting TODAY, I'm giving you MY TIME and THE GIFT OF HEALTH through Monday, January 5th!

I'm going to open up a challenge group to anyone and everyone who is wanting to get a jump start on some New Year's resolutions, or finish the year out strong to hit the goals you set for yourself 11-12 months ago at the start of this year.

This challenge group is OPEN TO EVERYONE; no matter your age, fitness level, fitness preference, nutrition habits. It'll be a positive outlet for you to get daily support and have a place to post with others just like you. The rate of success is greater when you are surrounded with others who are taking this journey too!

WAIT, THERE'S MORE....the sooner you join the better, because there will be drawings based on daily participation!!!

GRAND PRIZE DRAWING
(to take place Wednesday, January 7, 2015)

• 1 entry for each challenge you complete
• 1 entry if you record a loss
• 1 additional entry if you lose 1% or more of your body weight on weigh in day

WEEKLY DRAWINGS
(to take place every Monday morning starting December 15 through January 5)

• 1 entry for each challenge you complete

There will be no purchase of Beachbody products necessary, but as my sister shared this morning in her support group,

"You are going to love the convenience of having an at-home workout! I think you will also really like the way the program is designed. There is something about Beachbody programs that really sets them apart from other workout dvd's."

(This coming from a gal who successfully lost 60 lbs of baby weight "on her own" prior to starting Beachbody and Shakeology. And lost 11lbs in her first challenge group!! I can't say enough how proud of her I am!!)

I didn't become a coach to "sell products." I became a coach because I truly, honestly, with all my being, believe in the power and effectiveness of these products and programs want to help change lives!  I highly recommend them if you're ready to invest in your health and see and feel some amazing results!

COMMENT HERE, MESSAGE ME ON FACEBOOK, OR TEXT/CALL ME
IF YOU WANT TO BE ADDED TO THIS EXCLUSIVE GROUP!

Food On My Mind

I’ve been blessed with relatively decent health the first quarter century of my life, I came out a little “crooked,” but a couple surgeries and loving parents who kept me anyway got me through those little setbacks [for the most part]. I had a normal childhood filled with self-directed adventure as a country girl, a sister to blame everything on, sports to allow me to showcase my natural athleticism (my natural ability is about all the further I took my sports career), 4-H, horseshoe, roller skating at the Youth Center, late nights watching TV, a couple mission trips, sleepovers with friends, so on and so forth.

A sport every season, a youthful metabolism, and good genes held off any need to focus on my diet until college when I was given my first attempt at that whole surviving by myself thing. And I was so excited to not have to worry about what crazy food mom was going to make me try; I could finally eat “real food” for every meal (fast food, fried deli take-out, pizza).

A brief story about the quotes around real food: Back in the day on a family vacation, we stopped at a whole bunch of funky little diners and mom-n-pop restaurants to eat on our way out to Montana, none of which had chicken tenders, or at least not the ones that tasted exactly like the ones they served at Burger King, which pretty much left me zero options! If you’ve ever traveled from Minnesota to Montana off the beaten path (heck, even on the beaten path), you know there’s a decent stretch of highly unpopulated territory. We finally made it to a town of decent size, and as we were pulling up to a Burger King for our next meal, in a giant sigh of relief, I exclaimed, “FINALLY, REAL food!”

That story, and mindset of food, stuck with me for years to follow.

With that being said, I clearly didn’t have a great grasp on what constituted good nutrition, or even decent nutrition for that matter. The stereotype that “if it doesn’t taste good, it’s probably healthy” held true in my mind.

I spent the first part of my 20’s convinced daily/regular exercise was all I needed, and how much of it and the intensity level just depended on how much I wanted to eat. This did usually produce some results…it sure required a lot of work though. BUT it didn’t require me to give up the foods I had learned to love, so all that work was totally worth it.

I gradually opened up to the idea of making healthier food choices. I started counting calories. I bought fruits, vegetables, and other healthy choices, not really knowing how to incorporate them into my ten or less monthly meals that I prepared at home, most of which didn’t include much more than throwing a frozen disc of sauce, cheese and meat into the oven for a few minutes. The life-cycle of fresh produce in our home… grocery sack —> refrigerator —> trash can. Trust me when I say, “It wasn’t pretty,” when it came to my/our nutrition.

I love food. I hate change. I get impatient with “the process” of learning new things.

But thankfully God is still in the business of miracles, which is the only way I can explain how I made the decision to pretty much go “cold turkey” by emptying our pantry and join a Facebook “acquaintance” and her group to learn about clean eating.

As one of the challengers just posted today in our most recent group:

“Clean eating is a deceptively simple concept. Rather than revolving around the idea of
ingesting more or less of specific things (for instance, fewer calories or more protein), the idea is more about being mindful of the food’s pathway between its origin and your plate. At its simplest, clean eating is about eating whole food, or “real” foods – those that are un- or minimally – processed, refined, and handled, making them as close to their natural form as possible. Don’t eat anything your great-great-grandmother wouldn't recognize as a food.”

As I read that with what I know now, I am thinking back to how it would’ve sounded to me six months ago. There are just so many things that are nearly impossible to explain without experiencing it (kind of like telling a toddler not to touch something that is hot, or sharing with an expectant mother what they’ll experience during childbirth).

• You’ll find new “staple” meals.
• You’ll get familiar with the perimeter of the grocery store.
• What begins as a challenge to avoid caving in to “convenience” food, you might actually find to enjoy the “challenge” of finding clean, healthy, nourishing options on-the-go.
• You’ll understand the importance of a good cooler.
• Your tastebuds will change.
• You’ll discover it’s still possible to eat too much even if it’s clean.

It’s been 6 months of learning, which I’ve actually found kind of fun (more so because of the results from the learning). It’s required change. And best of all, I STILL love food (that actually ends up not panning out all that well!)  =)

I understand how intimidating and daunting of a task making a change in nutrition can be. I understand the feeling of not knowing… not knowing where to start, not knowing what to buy, not knowing what to cook/eat.

So while you may get tired of seeing my fitness and health posts - someone out there may benefit from it the way I did. Seeing it may inspire someone to change their life as well. I watched my coach for over half a year prior to changing my life. I am grateful every day for taking that leap and for everyone who has taken it with me!